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Tom's business trip to Orlando
March 5, 2010
This is what it felt like, the guy I sat next to, wasn't obese, he was just really big. He had to have been an O-Lineman back in the day. I went to Orlando, FL this week to learn about a proposal making software that our company uses. That's really boring, so we'll not talk about it, what was kind of funny, and worth at least a joke was my flights going east. I took off from Seattle at 6 am Sunday morning, and when you include the time that the airlines require you to be there before your flight, it makes for an early morning. Early mornings make for some tired flyers, and that includes me. When I first got my seat on the Seattle ? Denver leg of my flight, I was pumped to see that I was sitting in a fantastic row that only had two seats; it would just be me and the unlucky person that sits next to me. I say unlucky because I'm a tall guy, and I am all arms and legs. When I sit next to someone on an airplane my legs and elbows invade their space. Tony our lawn maintenance GM once said, "This sucks", no kidding, that's the actual quote on having to sit next to me.
As I sat and waited like a wolf spider to attack the unsuspecting victim that would sit next to me, I saw my worst nightmare. Coming down the aisle was a man standing 6'4" ish and with shoulders that were 3 chairs wide. I'm not saying this guy was obese, I am saying that he was big. He had a belly that probably had its share of adult beverages and hamburgers, but his shoulders looked like the front end of a mack truck. He was big, he more than took up his fair share of my seat, there was no sharing arm rests, his shoulder was sharing my headrest. This forced me to lean all the way to the far outer edge of my seat. As I tried to press myself into the wall of the airplane to my right, and enjoy the flight, I could hear the wing of the airplane begin to tear off. I thought I was for sure going to die. As I looked out the window to see the damage, I listened closely and realized that it wasn't the wing; the big man next to me had started snoring. This snore was loud enough that I heard it through the headphones of my i-pod. As I looked at my watch hoping beyond hope that we were almost to Denver, but to my dismay, we had only been airborne for about 20 minutes. 20 minutes is about 1/6th of the total flight time. I knew then I was in for the worst flight of my life.
I got used to the snoring, the initial shock of thinking the plane was going to crash was scary, but I survived. No sooner had I gotten used to it, the big man started to twitch and jump in his sleep. Much like a dog when they are sleeping, his legs started kicking like he was running, he started to throw his elbow like an NBA power forward, there was no escaping his wrath. This went on for the remaining 90 minutes of the flight. The stewardess being polite made sure not to ever hit him with the drink cart or even ask him what he wanted. That would have been my only escape. We finally landed, and it couldn't have been a moment too soon. I was just relieved to be off of the plane, and away from the elbowing chainsaw. Being the positive guy that I am, I thought to myself that there was no way that the next leg could be worse. But like my wife tells me I always am, I was wrong.
The next flight had the wicked witches from the east and west on the flight. I can say this because as we flew south, they were located one on the eastside of the plane and the other the west. They we're best friends, going to Disneyworld to have a good old best friend time. The only problem was they were located in the middle seat on either side of the aisle. I was in the aisle seat in between them. The volume control on these two ladies was stuck on "Max", everyone on the plane new exactly which sites they wanted to see, and when they were going to go. People with excessively loud laughs and speech are annoying, but you can handle it. What became the most difficult thing to handle was their constant need to be handing things back and forth. Books, jackets, food, sodas, everything imaginable; by the end of the 4 hour flight, I didn't need them to even ask me to hand it across, I could anticipate their needs and just pass it for them. It was an awesome flight.
On To The Fun Stuff
I try to play the piano, I'm not a very good piano player, but I can hit a note or two. The old couple in this video has been married for over 60 years, and apparently all they have done with their time is practice piano.
Just another video to show that you need pros to do your trimming.
GOTW An interesting turned based airplane strategy game
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